There are moments that we as Christians wonder where God is. He seems distant even when we pray earnestly for answers.
But, there are other times that He is so evident that you just want to shout.
For a few weeks I have been in that pit that I described two blog posts ago. A week ago, I ended up with some kind of stomach bug or something that put me in the bed unable to move. Even when I was finally able to get up and go back to work, I had no energy and no joy. I actually experienced a depression.
During that "low in the pit" time, I tried to follow the steps I laid out from my husband's sermon on Joseph. I pressed God for the lesson I was supposed to learn so I could move on with life. I tried to force the lesson, determining it must be about trust. But, that wasn't the answer.
When I decided to take my focus off my sickness, I think I discovered the answer. I so often let worry or sickness or fatigue or whatever circumstance I'm facing at the moment to become my focus. I can fix this. If I can't fix it, then I grieve over it and wallow in it.
But, God tells us in His Word that in this world there's a lot of junk we have to endure (Paula interpretation). He doesn't expect us to conquer it. He doesn't expect us to solve it. He doesn't even expect us to understand it.
Basically, when I threw up my hands and proclaimed: "God, I can't do this!" He said: "Finally."
Why is this a lesson I have to learn over and over? Surely by now, I should know that the best thing to do on my own is nothing. It's all Christ living in me and through me.
This past Sunday morning, my Scripture calendar read:
"Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and do not forget all His benefits -
who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all of your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
who satisfies you with good as long as you live
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's."
Yep, coming out of the pit and being renewed. Still learning.