"Then the Lord said to Jacob, 'Go back to the land of your fathers and to your relatives, and I will be with you.'" Genesis 31:3
In my Bible reading plan through the One Year Bible, I've been reading about Jacob. Poor guy - he was in love with Rachel and worked for seven years for her. Then he was tricked into marrying Leah, the older sister. I would have been angry and pitched a big fit. We're only told that Jacob speaks to the father and asks why he has done this. The father calmly answers that he couldn't marry off the younger daughter without getting the older one hitched first. (Well, he doesn't say it in exactly those words, but that was the gist.)
What does Jacob do? He agrees to work more years for Rachel. He must have really been smitten with her. Finally he has Rachel as well.
Now Jacob works for his father-in-law and brings much prosperity to his flocks. I'm sure that's why the father-in-law wasn't too happy when Jacob said it was time to head back home.
Of course, Jacob had to also be thinking about that little incident with his brother Esau. Last he heard from him, Esau wanted to kill him.
But the Lord told Jacob to go home, and the Lord would be with him.
I got to thinking about that. There are times I wish God would speak clearly about His direction for my life. Some instances in my life, I've been very sure of God's leading. Everything has pointed in a direction. But other times in my life, God hasn't been as clear. I think in those times it is like Abraham's experience. God told him to get up and go to a land He would show him. But Abraham didn't know the exact itinerary or have an X marked map. He just had to follow.
But I have to focus on the last part of the verse above rather than the first part.
Focusing on the first part means I want God to be specific with me on His direction. However, I don't think that is the best part to focus upon. The last part of the verse says that God would be with Jacob. I have that same promise from God.
The important thing for me is to know that God is always with me. He may decide to shine a big light on the dark path up ahead and let me see far away. But He may only shine a tiny light which means I can only see far enough to take the next step.
This is a hard lesson for me. I am a planner. I like to know what I'm doing. I crave a nice filled in schedule. But God knows that my trust in Him can grow when I don't quite see the whole plan laid out. When I'm forced to just depend on Him for the next step, my faith grows. And I know I can depend on Him to be there because He promised. I have to rest in that. Or at least I'm learning to rest in that. The controller in me says, "Could you make this path a little more blatant and clear?" And God says, "I'm here. That's all you need to know."